If you’re like most people, you are curious what other folks talk about during their one near-hour of undivided attention per week, either because you’ve never been to therapy, or because you wonder if you’re “doing it right” or missing out on anything.

Do you recognize yourself in any of the following “types”? If so, you might benefit from therapy with me. Also, did you get instantly turned off by my use of the word “type”? If so, I don’t blame you. I fervently believe everyone is unique at the granular level AND I believe we (fortunately) have some broad, affirming similarities. So for what it’s worth…

As disclaimed, in my first post, these “types” are brief, coarse amalgamations of client stories that are each unique and complex (to protect privacy! and for readability!).

The headline is that dating can be a numbers game, particularly on the apps, which is currently where most relationships begin, and HSPs may simply not pursue enough connections to hit the jackpot.

Additional tips for dating in a sustainable, semi-nondehumanizing way on and off the apps.

Number one: keep your thinking flexible -- be willing to extend trust or revoke it at any time,

People who have experienced major depression may become afraid of suffering future episodes, sometimes to the point of catastrophizing the small, natural dips in mood we all experience through ever-changing reality.

If I had to estimate, about a third of my clients wish they wanted or enjoyed sex more, about 10% would prefer less sex, something like 20% worry that they’re too into sex, and about a third of my clients are content with their libido and current sex lives.

Upon first sighting of pumpkin-spiced stuff in stores, we anticipate the holidays. Anticipation may bring feelings of warmth and joy (twinkly lights, PTO, Christmas jammies, and fudge) as well as pangs of the less fun stuff: anxiety, dread, loneliness, resentment (would it kill you, family member, to do a dish every once in a while?).

Not long ago I had the pleasure of uniting with fellow overcontrolled types at the RO DBT conference in Chicago. There the developer of the treatment, Thomas Lynch, PhD, presented a new research-backed skill in progress, the Grief Protocol.

When clients are struggling with a decision -- anything from whether to leave a job to end a relationship to drink alcohol -- I can hardly wait to screen-share my virtual whiteboard and create a four-square grid for us to fill in.

Eye contact, also commonly referred to as two-way gaze in scientific research, can be a bit much at times, whether in therapy or elsewhere. Here are a few fun facts and insidious myths about eye contact.

And get what you want. DEARMAN from DBT is an outline for how to ask for something or say no to a request. The basic structure can be used for a variety of potentially emotionally-charged conversations, from eliciting an apology for a partner's empathic rupture to confronting a roommate’s messiness, to discussing politics (yowza).

Many of my clients, as well as myself and many other therapists, tend toward an overcontrolled coping style, meaning we are often more inhibited than we want or than would be effective. RO DBT is a framework and skill set for opening up.

“Dialectical Behavior Therapy” is a mouthful. So we usually say “DBT”. But what does it mean?